(Translation: “Kumusta na kayo? Eto nga pala bago roaming number ko na-sim block na kasi yung dati ko. Dito na kayo magtext. Miss ko na kayo, ingat kayo lahat diyan.”)

The first time I got the message, I didn’t mind it. I just deleted it. But the very enterprising sender, who was no doubt using the unlitext services of the mobile phone provider which is the same as mine, kept on sending the same message to my phone. It was irritating because I don’t text very often but when I receive a message, I usually look at it to see if it’s important or it can wait til later. And since I was in the office, it means work is my top priority. So unless it’s an emergency, more often than not, I don’t respond.

But there they were, a couple of text messages from the same anonymous number, who, though the message sounded friendly enough (as if close kami!) did not bother to introduce him/herself. In just a matter of one or two minutes, I had received about 5 messages from the same number. I knew this was somebody who, if I entertained, would later ask that I send load credits to his/her damn phone so he/she could supposedly call me and we could talk. This modus operandi is so outdated already so whoever that person was is still living in the middle ages. But since my inbox was being flooded, I decided to text back. And here was my message: “Go get a life. Look for a decent job so you wouldn’t have to resort to fooling people. Your soul will burn in hell for cheating others.”

I found that telling them that their souls will burn in hell for trying to fool others works. And this time, I was correct. It worked, and the spammer stopped texting me. Why there are still ignorant fools who want to swindle people by sending these kinds of text messages escapes me. (Some tell you you’ve won millions. Duh. One even introduced him/herself as Mrs. Ayala. Duh. As if using the name Ayala would command respect from me… heller!)

But yeah, several times, when I get these same text messages, I text back and after telling them off, they don’t bother me anymore. Either they’re scared of their souls burning in hell, or they’re scared when they get text messages in English. haha!

Oh, just in case you want a textmate, or you just want to text somebody that you have a new roaming number and then later tell him/her that it would be better if you could be sent load credits just so you could call, try texting this number, 09063074470. That number might just forward you the message I sent him/her earlier.

1. #51  Bongkito – ’nuff said, shempre, yan ang pinakahandsome for me

I’d have voted for just one, shempre, si Bongkito lang dapat, pero dahil may 9 remaining votes pa ako, here they are:

(in no particular order kasi parepareho ko silang gusto)

2. #1 Jason – kapatid ko to
3. #2 Ax – kapatid ko rin to
4. #3 Bon – kapatid na nasa abroad
5. #10 Fr. Felmar – Fads – kow, ang pinakapaborito kong makulit na pari
6. #15 Jesse – yes, fafa jesse, i am voting for you
7. #11 Topex – ang pogi friend na nasa keneda
8. #24 Mark – machong butiki
9. #54 Raqi – a.k.a. Bertie Bott
10. #50 Pat Celino – a.k.a. Dorm Boy

Choosing what to play was a dilemma. I looked into my jazz folders and later chose the Jazz to be with you 2 album. The first song was Babyface’s version of Longer.

I know, Longer, as sung and written by Dan Fogelberg, is a very nice song but I never really appreciated what it meant or what it had to say until I listened to it a while ago:

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I’ve been in love with you

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I am in love with you, oh
I am in love with you, oh
I am in love with you…

As I was listening to it, I couldn’t help but remember my conversation with Bong a few nights ago as we were preparing to sleep.

Out of the blue, he just asked me, “Do you think there will come a time when we would just lose our feelings for each other?” I was puzzled why he suddenly asked me that, but I also pondered on it. What I told him was this, that I believe we wouldn’t lose our feelings of love for each other as long as we stay true to each other, we are honest, we respect each other’s feelings, and God is always in our midst.

Now, a day short of our fifth year as a married couple, I remember vividly that day when we stood in front of God and the people who love us. Bong and I decided we would write our own vows, and not get them from the ones prescribed in those misalettes you download from the internet or the one you buy from the church, but our very own promises of love for each other. I remember poring over my own vows and making sure that I didn’t forget to bring it to the church.

The moment came when we were going to say them. And as one would have known, Bong forgot to write his. So while holding my hand and looking intently at me, he just said whatever came to his mind. As for me, I read through what I wrote. While I am a writer, I am not exactly a good speaker so that piece of paper was very important to me.

Looking back, I can not exactly remember what his promises to me were. But even without those promises being immortalized in my mind, in my heart, his loving actions are.

And to answer his question, I quote “Longer”

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Blurring lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I’ll be in love with you

Yup, dad, we will grow old, the passion will probably be lessened, there’ll be arguments here and there, and yeah, the pages will turn yellow, but I will be in love with you.

Happy 5^th year to us…

It actually feels weird. Part of me wants to go back to work since I know I have been away too long, which means work has already piled up. I don’t want my colleagues taking care of the things I should be taking care, anyway. They already have their hands full as it is. But a big part of me wants to stay at home because even when I have been away from the office since December 15, I feel I’ve only gotten to enjoy life eversince I came home from the hospital after my slipped disc surgery (laminotomy discectomy). And what of it?

My surgery was performed last January 8 at St. Luke’s in Quezon City. But a day before, I was already admitted for some pre-surgery routine tests, my BP monitored to ensure that I will be safe. And so, my sister Anne and her boyfriend, Onid, brought me to the hospital. Later that night, she went home as my mom and Bong stayed with me all throughout my hospital confinement.

Anyway, I found out that rooms in St. Luke’s are so much more expensive, but not necessarily better than those in Asian Hospital. The latter also has better room facilities (the room I stayed in which cost P4,300 a day is comparable to Asian Hospital’s P2,750 a day room in size and facilities. Asian’s is even much better, actually.) But then, St. Luke’s is a teaching hospital that’s why what it lacks for in room facilities, it makes up for in resident doctors’ visitations. The nursing services are just the same. In my experience, they give the same quality of service. Oh. and Asian Hospital is much quieter whereas St. Luke’s, since there are more people around, is also much noisier. (Wait, this is becoming a hospital services review, so I better stop now.)

Anyhoo, later that afternoon, my anaesthesiologist, Dr. Yogi Lazaga, the wife of my orthopedic surgeon cousin, Dr. Jojo Lazaga, visited me and made me answer questions regarding my medications. She also walked me through what would happen prior to surgery when I am put on general anaesthesia. I told her I would appreciate being sedated because I was scared of being too nervous to go through the whole thing. Fortunately, she understood and she told me that earlier before the scheduled operation, I shall be administered meds to calm me. She told me, too, that the GA will be administered through a tube that will be inserted through my mouth (ha! that was the first time I have heard of such so it was really new to me. I am used to anaesthesia injected through my spine as in my previous CS operations). She said I wouldn’t know about it anyway since I would already be knocked down by the time they do this, but just the same, she wanted me to know just how she would do it. Dr. Yogi told me I wouldn’t know what happened til she wakes me up after the operation which would take about 2 hours. After explaining everything to me, she left with assurances that I am in very good and able hands. I told her I believed her because she and Jojo are taking care of me. And of course, family and friends would be praying with me. That night, the assistant chaplain of the hospital visited me and prayed over me. But what really floored me was when I logged in to Facebook and clicked that FB app, Message from God. Mine said, “On this day, God wants you to know…that tonight you can turn your worries to God, and have a good night’s sleep. You’ve been worrying too much about the future lately. So tonight, go ahead, put your faith in God, and just have a peaceful evening and a restful sleep.

Here I was, trying to be brave but deep inside, I was really really scared. Yet God, being all-powerful and all-knowing, made a way to talk to me, and that was what He told me. God is just truly amazing, huh?

After reading it, I felt peaceful because I knew, He would be guiding my doctors and nurses, and would make sure I was safe.

That night, before sleeping, Bong talked to me. He told me he would pray and he would wait for me. I told him I really wanted to go on with the surgery because I wanted to go back to being me. I noticed how, in the past few weeks, I have become irritable, and maybe hard to get along with. I told him I wasn’t anymore fun to be with because this illness had already invaded my being.

The next day, at around 3am of January 8, I was put on IV and later at 5am, began my no food intake order. At 11 am, the nurses came and gave me my meds, sedative, I was told. I don’t anymore have recollection about the time I was wheeled to the OR before 1pm, my scheduled operation. Bong just supplanted the info for me. He said I was not too conscious anymore as the meds had already taken effect by then, but that he accompanied me til we reached the OR. I think I remember him telling me he would wait for me and he would fetch me when it’s time to bring me back to my room.

And so, the operation went. At 4:00pm, I remember Dr. Yogi waking me up and her telling me, “Gising na, Kaye. Tapos na. Dadalhin ka na sa Recovery Room.” I think I said Thank you,  but I also knew, that the journey was just starting. You see, I always vomit after an operation, which is how I react to GAs. And so, for the next 3 hours, I would vomit spit in a small basin and call nurses to replace the tissue or wipe my face since I was still tooooooo nauseous. (sorry if you are eating). But I also knew that Dr. Yogi ordered an anti-emetic so the vomiting would be reduced. At around 7pm, I heard one of the nurses saying that I was ready to be brought back to my room. At the time, although I was still nauseous, I also wanted to go back to familiar faces. Then, one of the nurses said, “Sabi nung husband niya, tawagan siya pag dadalhin na siya sa room.” And so, in a matter of a few minutes, I was already being wheeled out of the RR, and the first face I saw was Bong’s. I smiled. He kissed me and I knew, he was happy I was very much okay.

Dr. Jojo told me I was to get up immediately the next day to exercise my limbs. But two hours after I was brought inside my room, I decided to get up. I wanted to feel how it was to stand up without my right leg hurting. True enough, I did not anymore feel pain. And so, even when I was still nauseous, I would say, I was, for the first time, happily nauseous. Hehehe.

Bong later showed me what was taken out inside me. It was, according to him, explained by Dr. Jojo earlier. He showed me a small plastic container with brownish liquid and inside were white bits, one of which was round, about an inch in diameter. He said that the white bits were the disc, and the big one, was the one which was pressing on the nerves, and which made it very painful for me to sit or stand up. In short, that big round thing was the culprit. The liquid was formalin, I was told. It actually, as Bong described it to me while I was being wheeled to my room from the RR, like vinegar with garlic. Haha.

The next day, Drs. Jojo and Yogi visited me and explained what happened to me. I thanked them for doing a wonderful job. I was told I could go home the next day, Sunday.

And now, a week after my operation, here I am, finally “restored.” There is still pain at my waist area, but my wound, I was told (since I can’t see for myself,) is healing fast. My brother-in-law, who is also my PT, is using IR on my wound to help it heal fast.

As I look back at what happened, I am also humbled by the fact that I wouldn’t have made it through if it weren’t for caring friends who prayed for me and who prayed with the whole family. Again, those friends include you, my blogging family-friends, who, even if we haven’t met, (again, save for Fr. Felmar), have become my prayer warriors. Thank you so much, and I pray that God will bless you a hundredfold.

And though belated, I wish you all a Happy 2010!

I really do not know what 2010 has in store for me, for us, but all I know is that a few days ago, my status message in Facebook read: “wishes for good health in 2010. Enough with the trips to hospitals.”

What many may not know is that this year, there have been several trips to the hospital, and those were not just for routine vaccinations. In March, my paternal grandmother was hospitalized, and subsequently passed away. Sometime in the middle of the year, Jeremy was taken to the ER of Asian Hospital because of an eye injury. In October, I was hospitalized due to my slipped disc problem, which also necessitated another MRI. At about the same time, my father’s eldest sister was also hospitalized due to an elevated blood pressure and difficulty in breathing. Then, last month, Kara was hospitalized for dengue. And now, it’s me again.

You see, last December 12, I felt pain at the right side of my back, waist area. It’s the same pain which brought me to the hospital last October. But unlike last October, this one was worse, with the pain going down my right leg, not to mention the pins and needles sensation. I was already warned by the Asian Hospital Ortho doctor that the protruding disc was quite large and very very near the nerve. This time, it’s confirmed, I have nerve impingement which is causing this pain.

So starting December 15, I had been on sick leave. I just had to go to the office last December 14 to finish a speech for our President. But even then, It was already very painful.

So anyway, I started taking pain reliever and muscle relaxant, but that didn’t relieve the pain. My cousin, an orthopedic surgeon in St. Luke’s who also holds clinic in Sta. Rosa prescribed me a drug for sciatica, or nerve pain. He told me that the pain in my right leg would unfortunately be the last to go. But while the pain at my back has already disappeared, the pain in my right leg still wouldn’t go away. Only a few minutes on my feet, even sitting up would already be very painful, that I would have to lie down immediately so the pain would subside. I do everything mostly lying in bed–eating, reading, net surfing, blogging, and most of all, laying out my magazine (I brought home work) that my left elbow has already gotten very dark, dry, and painful with blisters

So earlier tonight, as he is staying at my tita’s (his mom) place, I decided to see him. I told him that the pain is still here and asked him what my options are. He told me I may take the nerve pain med for another week, but if there is no significant improvement by then, then that would mean surgery for me. Naturally, I got scared. Who wants to go under the knife, anyway? But he explained that surgeries like that are now performed with the least time possible and with a very short incision. It’s also, according to him, a usual procedure, about 5 a week at St. Lukes. yay! While he wouldn’t be the one operating on me (if this is my last resort,) he would be there and his wife, who is an anaesthesiologist, would also be there. He assured me I would be well-taken care of.

And so I thought, so much for FB status messages. Looks like I’d have to make a few trips to hospitals in 2010. But who knows, I still have a week before I would have to face that eventuality. In the meantime, I guess I would have to continue praying hard I wouldn’t have to go under the knife, and wish at midnight, that as 2009 leaves us, it would also take with it this illness that has been taking its toll on me.

And yeah, I wish you all good health in 2010. Enough with the trips to hospitals. Indeed!

1. I never really cooked at home before I got married, but now, I do, and Bong and Kara love whatever I cook, and that’s what’s most important to me.

2. I love kissing and cuddling, so whatever chance I get to kiss and cuddle my children, I grab it. And yes, I LOVE doing this too with Bong.

3. I cry a lot—in the movies, even at home watching an episode of MMK, when there’s a misunderstanding between me and the people I love, when I share and hear sad stories, the first time I saw my babies after giving birth to them—the list goes on.

4. I once dreamed of becoming a lawyer after finishing my Journalism course. Then I had Kara. But you know, I would never trade Kara for any dream in this world. I love my daughter (and the two little ones) to pieces!

5. If I argue with you in English, then that means I am really really mad.

6. I feel I am always put in situations where I need to fight for my rights or my loved ones’, for that matter, that’s why I almost always come off too strong/mataray. But then, I was never a pushover, either.

7. I had difficult pregnancies because we discovered I had APAS (Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome), an autoimmune condition which makes my body reject the developing baby. To save the baby, I had heparin injections twice a day which would leave purple bruises on my belly. Which reminds me…

8. I don’t drink coffee that much anymore. Ever since I got pregnant twice in a row, I have somehow gotten coffee out of my system, and even the usual 3-in-1 could give me heart palpitations now. (funny though, fraps work well for me)

9. The only regret I had marrying Bong was that we didn’t have a wedding singer as good as him. sad.

10. Surprisingly, I liked the Sex and the City Movie. I can’t wait for the next one.

11. I once sang the part of Asaka in our college production of “Once on this Island .” And I would also sometimes pitch in for an orgmate who played the part of Ti Moune whenever she’d get hoarse from singing.

12. I used to commute from Sta. Rosa to UP Diliman and back during College. My parents didn’t consider having me live in a dorm or a boarding house.

13. I once wrote a balagtasan piece for our annual celebration of the priests’ day in High School.

14. I passed the first exam given to wannabes of PSHS, but wasn’t able to take the second exam because the schoolmate tasked to give me the letter informing me I passed the exam failed to do so.

15. I turned down Bong not once, but thrice. And just when he was no longer interested in me, that was the time I discovered I had feelings for him. The rest, as they say, is history.

16. I once auditioned for UPSA (UP Singing Ambassadors) only to prove to an ex that I could get in and sing with the group. And when the novelty of it all wore out, I started losing interest, too. It was also hard to keep up especially when you have to go home to Laguna after rehearsals at around 10-11pm. (but I was able to perform with the group a few times, so to me, that was already enough)

17. What first attracted me to my company was the piped-in music they were playing during my entrance exams—classical music, would you believe!

18. I took over the responsibility of enrolling myself and my siblings to school (including my cousins pa pala) when I was only in grade five. Since my mom has work, she trusted me with the enrollment money. That taught me to be more independent.

19. I was able to watch two Oblation runs in UP. I realized after the second time that once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen all.

20. I used to be good in math. Really. Unfortunately, years without practice really make one forget the whole thing. Fortunately for me, Kara very seldom needs help with Math.

21. After giving birth to Kara while inside the recovery room, I was in such high spirits that I couldn’t care less if everywhere, other women were either throwing up or plain knocked out after giving birth themselves. I just remember being impatient, and to while away the time, I was singing “Build me Up Buttercup.”

22. I am allergic to all kinds of pain killers except celebrex, and anything containing aspirin.

23. I always tell my friends who are still single to look for a man who shares the same faith as theirs. Worshiping together is very important to me. And I am very lucky Bong and I share the same beliefs and practices when it comes to our faith.

24. Kara used to tell me I make harder (review) exams than her teachers’ actual exams.

25. If there is one person I would want to be with again, that would be my deceased brother, Lon. I miss him and I would want to tell him face to face that I love him so much.

There you go. Your turn.

And what was it? Well, just a new Nikon D90 Fr. Felmar‘s gifts…the two 2010 SVD Bible Diaries and the batik shirt which I am sharing with my dear hubby Bong.

After signing the receiving copy, I immediately tore it open and smiled from ear to ear upon seeing the diaries which contain the writings of SVD priests and sisters, and the shirt. One of the diaries will be stationed here in the office and the other will be used at home. And the shirt. Yes, the shirt. Bong has already asked me for it, so it will go to him. (See? I’m a generous wife. I share my awards with my hubby. hehe)

Thanks to Fr. Felmar and his base contest, I won these two SVD Bible Diaries and the really nice batik shirt

I couldn’t resist taking a photo of my prizes so I could display it here. Forgive the inferior quality though, of the pic, as I only took this with the use of my phone. hehe.

Anyway, I would like to thank Fr. Felmar again for the very nice gifts/prizes I received from him. But mostly, I would like to thank him for his unique way of spreading God’s word, and for all the friends I gained because of his site. God bless, everyone!

Hindi kita palaging nayayakap kapag nagsabi ka sa akin na may masakit sa katawan mo at alam ko namang kelangan mo lang ng yayakap sayo para madama mo namang beybi pa rin kita kahit papano…

Hindi rin kita palaging nahahalikan pag dumadating ka sa lugar na ating pagtatagpuan upang sabay na umuwi matapos ang isang maghapon sa trabaho…

Hindi ko palaging nasasabi sayo ang thank you, o salamat, kahit na araw araw sa pagpasok natin sa trabaho, natutulog ako sa balikat mo habang humahalik ka sa noo ko at magkahawak kamay tayo.

Hndi ko rin nasasabi palagi ang salamat kapag gumigising tayo sa umaga matapos mag-alarm ang cellphone ko at nakikiusap akong mauna ka nang bumangon dahil gusto ko pang matulog, kahit alam kong may mga panahong talagang pagud na pagod ka at kulang ka sa tulog dahil may nilamay kang trabaho nung nakaraang gabi.

Hindi ko rin palaging nasasabi sayo ang salamat sa twing babangon ka sa gabi para magtimpla ng gatas o magpalit ng diaper, o di kaya maglinis ng ating mga maliliit na chikiting bago sila matulog.

Hindi kita laging napapasalamatan sa pagsisikap mong gawin ang lahat para maibigay mo ang maganda at mabuting buhay para sa amin ng mga bata

Hindi ko nasasabi sayo kung gaano ko nararamdaman na maswerte ako dahil kasakasama kitang magdasal sa umaga at sumimba linggo linggo.

Hindi ko nasasabi sayo na mabuti na lang at ikaw ang nakatuluyan ko kasi ikaw lang ata ang nakakaintindi sa kung minsa’y magulo kong utak.

Hindi ko palaging nasasabi sayo ng harapan ang mga salitang I love you, kung minsan, kahit pa nga sa text lang. At kung minsan nakakaguilty kapag nagtetext ka ng mga ganitong matatamis na salita, at sobrang busy naman ako sa trabaho. Pagkabasa, babalik na ang atensyon ko sa kung anumang pinagkakaabalahan kong gawin.

Marami pa akong di palaging naipadadama o nasasabi sayo…pero ang hindi mo laging alam… na lagi akong nagpapasalamat kay Lord kasi kahit ang tigas ng ulo ko noong mga panahong tinatanggihan kita (tatlong beses yun, di ba?) di ka pa rin sumuko. At ngayong nagdiriwang ka ng iyong kaarawan, isang malaking pasasalamat ko sa Kanya dahil nung isilang ka, siguro’y iginuhit na Niya ang tadhana mo…na magiging matiisin at mapagpasensiya ka dahil sa akin ka mapupunta.

Happy birthday, dad. Simple lang naman ang gusto kong sabihin sayo…Mahal na mahal kita. Yun lang.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Update lang po ito…

Ito ay mga larawang kuha nung gabing magdiwang kami ni Bong ng kanyang kaarawan.

Ako at ang aking si Bong bago kami kumain sa Kanin Club

Dalawa lang kaming kakain kaya ito lang muna ang aming pinagsaluhan. Marami pa ring natira kaya't inuwi na lang namin. Stuffed squid, Laing, Crispy dinuguan at hototai ang nakikita nyo.

At shempre pa'y di mawawala ang Kanin... ito ang Loaded KC rice.

He has told me more than a few times not to give him anything fancy during his birthday. In fact, he doesn’t want me to give him any gift, seeing that there have been a lot of expenses the past few days. So as a fitting tribute to this man who has proven to be everything the song “Wind Beneath My Wings” says, I am reposting this here…)

Bong sings "The Promise" while being accompanied by the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra during the show "PPO and IL In Harmony."

A few weeks ago, in the wee hours of the morning while tending to Jeremy during his feeding, Bong who was fast asleep, suddenly opened his eyes and began humming to the song that was playing in our dvd player. You see, we put music every night in the player to help Jeremy sleep better. That night (or was it already early morning?), David Benoit’s Land of the loving was playing. And there was Bong, humming the song, which ended as abruptly as it started. He just suddenly stopped humming and went back immediately to his sleep. I didn’t know whether to laugh or not because I suspected he wasn’t aware of what he just did. The day after, I asked him if he knew what he did, and he told me he didn’t. heehee! I told him I found it funny but nice because he was really “musical” even in his sleep.

Well, almost the same thing happened two nights ago. This time, the song was David Benoit’s Take a look inside my heart. He woke up from his sleep, and this time, he didn’t just hum. He sang the song, but before he went back to sleep, he told me he was now fully aware that he was singing. Which meant, he was not dreaming or something. But which still brought smile to my lips. I mean, my husband was only half-awake while singing, yet, I swear, I fell in love all over again with his voice.

I remembered then the first time I found out he was musically inclined (that’s putting it very mildly, actually). It was in 1995, and we were in CMC (College of Mass comm or Plaridel Hall for you–in UP) He told me he could play the piano and so we went to nearby Abelardo Hall (college of Music which was also where I used to take my voice lessons and where UPSA rehearsals were held). We found a room with a piano in it, and he began playing Les Mis’ On My Own which, at the time, was one of my voice pieces. I sang while he played, but I didn’t know then that he could sing too, because he didn’t sing, anyway. At the time, I already knew he liked me, but I was too stubborn to acknowledge it.

Fast forward to 2002. My ex and I had just broken up, and who was there for me? Turns out Bong was. He asked if he could visit me at home in Laguna, and I said ok. Here, I found out he could sing, and that he actually had a nice voice. He unabashedly sang songs in the videoke while I just listened. I was too shy to sing in front of him, anyway. At the time, I knew he still liked me, or liked me again, (whichever would apply), but I wasn’t ready yet. Besides, at the time, he had a girlfriend, and I didn’t want to be the one to ruin what they had. So we just remained friends.

Then, two years after, it suddenly happened. We were together a day after my birthday. He had already broken up with his ex, and I realized I was now ready to fall in love again. To cut the long story short, we were soon a couple, and not only that, we also started singing together. In weddings, mostly. A year after, we were married, and to this day, we still sing together.

Made me realize how nice it really is to have a partner you can sing with, Literally and figuratively. In the years we have been together, Bong has taught me to be more confident and appreciate what talent I had been given. Of course, there are still times when I would just want to take the backseat, and just watch and listen to him while he sings. He really has a beautiful, beautiful voice, after all, and I know, no matter what I do, I will never be able to match that. But what the heck. He is mine, and I could forever, listen to him sing. Just like two nights ago, when he sang Take a look inside my heart. *sigh* I’d have to ask him to sing again later tonight.